The Pinocchio Syndrome
A mini memo for leaders who lead with purpose (and sometimes too much fluff)
Hey Friend,
Let’s talk.
We already know that leadership is layered.
Some days, it can be a strange balancing act, especially when you’re trying to protect people, maintain momentum, and keep the appearance of everything being under control…even when it’s not. Other days, it’s managing the message, softening the truth, and trying to keep everything and everyone from unraveling.
In these moments, you tell yourself: “I’m not lying, I’m just holding this part back until the time is right.”
You finesse the message.
You delay a hard update.
You package things just right (or so you think) so the board doesn’t spiral, and your team doesn’t panic.
And before you know it, your leadership starts feeling more like a carefully edited work of fiction rather than being clear and mission-forward.
Existing in this realm can prompt doubt and uncertainty. And after all, you’re a bold leader fully capable of leading authentically, right?
If so, then why, in your boldness, would you ever not lead or not walk in your truth?
This isn’t about shame. It’s about self-awareness.
And about knowing that even the best leaders, yes, that’s you, can fall into what I like to call the Pinocchio Syndrome (TPS): A leadership habit where truth is stretched, softened, or strategically withheld in the name of protection, control, or comfort. Often rooted in good intentions, but, over time, it erodes trust and alignment.
This week’s memo isn’t about strategic plans or fundraising. It’s about truth.
Yours. Theirs. And the one you’re sometimes tempted to tweak just a little.
Before you hit send…
Please know this:
We’re all guilty of it (TPS), and we sometimes ease the guilt or justify the fib with self-fulfilling self talk that works in our favor. These are the subtle ways leaders stretch or suppress the truth, but often with good intentions.
“They don’t need to know this yet.”
“Let’s keep morale up until we figure it out.”
“I’ll sugarcoat this one to avoid panic.”
Sound familiar?
Guilty.
When boards, staff, or stakeholders feel like something’s off but don’t have the full story, they start writing their own version. And those versions rarely build trust.
Remember this:
Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing.
It means offering meaningful clarity, even when it’s uncomfortable.
It means replacing “spin” with shared understanding.
So, before you draft that next board update or skip over a challenge in your team meeting: pause.
Ask yourself: Is this clarity, or is this comfort…and am I being true & authentic to myself?
Something to Sit With
“Where in my leadership am I editing the truth to protect others when what they really need is the opportunity to engage more deeply?”
Sometimes, the “protection” is more about us than them.
Being honest doesn’t make you harsh. It makes you human.
And being real doesn’t make you risky, it makes you relatable.
Starting right now, give yourself permission to lead with controlled transparency and not faux perfection.
ICYMI
Here are a few gems to go deeper on leading with clarity (and truth) even when it’s uncomfortable:
📌 ARTICLE: [Authenticity in Leadership: Why Truth Builds Long-Term Loyalty – Harvard Business Review] Preview: No. 5 on the list is leadership secret sauce
A short read with big impact. Unpacks why being real creates sustainable organizational culture.
🎧 PODCAST: [WorkLife with Adam Grant – “The Problem with All-Stars”]
Explores how unspoken dynamics on high-performing teams can lead to silence, mistrust, and image management.
📽️ WATCH: Pinocchio (1940) – Yes, the original. Watch it again, or for the first time, but, this time view it through the lens of leadership. Every time a “little lie” is told, the gap between identity and integrity grows.
📎 COMING SOON: “Questions Every Leader Should Ask Before Updating the Board!” It’s a free checklist to help you lead with clarity and courage. (Want early access? Just reply and lmk!)
Before we go:
Here’s to more truth and fewer tightropes.
Lead clearly. Communicate with care.
And if you’ve been editing the (your) story, just know: the real version is powerful enough.
Sending you honesty, & audacity,
