Camaraderie is your secret sauce!

Written By Tenesha Thomas

Because mean girl energy has no place in mission driven work.

Hey Friend,

This week, I want to check in. Not with your calendar or your inbox…but with you.

I know what it feels like to show up in spaces that preach “purpose” but practice “politics.”

I've been the one who walked into the room only to feel the (not so) subtle shade and silent power plays. I’ve worked in organizations where the environment was more polarizing than progressive. Where inside whispering networks did way more damage than outside critics ever could. Where camaraderie was replaced with cliques and the “we” felt more like “us vs. them.”

And yet, here you are. Still showing up. Still leading. Still anchoring yourself in integrity while navigating undercurrents that don’t always feel fair.

So, today I just want to say:
You’re not imagining it. You’re not alone. And you’re doing better than you think!

Some people feel as if leadership has to be loud and seen. But, sometimes it's the quiet act of not matching someone’s toxic energy. It’s protecting the mission, even when it means confronting the mess. It’s choosing clarity and connection over control and chaos.

Camaraderie isn't just something thats “nice-to-have.” It’s the secret sauce of truly transformational leadership.

And toxic energy? It’s an anchor. It’s dead weight. And you must let it go. Your mission depends on it.

Let’s identify it, shift it, and most importantly - rise above it.

You with me?

Put It In Your Radar

Red Flags in the Boardroom & Beyond
Toxic doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it shows up as:

  • Constant undercutting or passive aggression

  • Hoarding information instead of sharing it

  • Sabotaging collaboration to elevate personal spotlight

  • Excluding key voices from decision-making

  • Smiling in meetings but sowing division after hours (THIS ONE!)

If you’re seeing one (or all), it’s not “just a personality clash.” It’s a cultural threat.

Power Move: Schedule a quick 1:1 with a potential disruptor—not to confront, but to clarify.
Ask: “What’s one thing you need from me that you haven’t gotten yet?”
Then listen. Really listen. Often, toxicity is unspoken insecurity.

Something to Sit With

“Am I creating a culture of competition or a culture of camaraderie?”

Because it’s hard to build trust when everyone’s looking over their shoulder.
And it's impossible to create alignment when you’re walking on eggshells.

Your people don’t need a perfect leader.
They need a safe one. A real one. A rooted one.

Tangible Takeaways

Here are 3 ways to combat toxic undercurrents & build true connection:

  1. Name the Values Out Loud
    Make psychological safety part of your meeting norms. Say things like “we speak with, not about, each other” and mean it.

  2. Call in, Don’t Just Call Out
    When someone undermines, ask questions like:
    “What do you think our shared goal is here?” or “Help me understand what outcome you're hoping for.”

  3. Model It at the Top
    Your tone, I repeat, your tone, sets the tone! Celebrate shared wins, acknowledge people who uplift others, and de-center hierarchy (aka toxic leadership “squads”) when possible.

ICYMI: Resources to Help You Lead Through It

Before We Go

Here’s to less cattiness and more community.
Less silent competition and more strategic collaboration.
And way less tolerating “mean girl” energy just because it’s masked as leadership.

Remember: Camaraderie is your secret sauce. Stir it up often.

***Leadership gets messy but it doesn’t have to be lonely. I’m cooking up something special for purpose driven souls like you who are craving growth, clarity, and real community.***

Stay tuned.

Rooting for your rise, always,

Tenesha Thomas
Next

The Pinocchio Syndrome